Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Guardianship Abuse: The Most Insidious and All-Encompassing Form of Elder Abuse


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Thank you for your support of my mother's wish to live in her own home, and have her daughter [me] be the one responsible for her care and her affairs, as she legally designated me to be, more than five years before I brought her to Wilton Meadows Health Care Center in Wilton, Conn., for short-term rehabilitation for the severe stroke she had in March 2010. ~ Marjorie Partch: map@marjoriepartch.com

PLEASE SIGN DOROTHY'S PETITION, TO THE RIGHT!

THIS IS JUST IN FROM THE CONN. PROBATE FRONT:  JUDICIAL DISCIPLINARY COUNSEL MEMO:
______________________________________
 
SUBJECT:  WESTPORT PROBATE COURT ON TUESDAY, MAY 15, 2012, AT 3 P.M. ~ IT WENT QUITE WELL ~ PLEASE SEE COMMENT BELOW FOR UPDATE!
Dear Assistant Attorney General Hulin,
CC:  Conn. Long Term Care Ombudsman Dan Lerman; Conn. Dept. of Social Services Case Worker Tyrone McMillan, MSW;

Senator Blumenthal, Congressman Himes, Senator John Kerry, Bruce Gormley (cousin of Superior Court Judge Joseph T. Gormley, who liberated Daniel Gross from Probate Bondage), various media professionals, and members of the Unitarian-Universalist Society in Stamford, the Congregation for Humanistic Judaism, and the Unitarian Church in Westport, family & friends.


______________________________________


I am glad that you will be attending the 3 P.M. hearing in Westport next week, thank you for letting me know.

As you know, my mother's Court-Appointed Conservator, Mr. Matthew Caputo, has already petitioned the Probate Court to resign, and is now petitioning to sell the house and have his Accounting through November 2011 approved. It was due July 27, 2011. He seems to have decided to move ahead without securing my waiver to grant him the carte blanche that he was requesting. As you know, I was reluctant to do so, even with my mother being held hostage; however, my attorney is not particularly litigiously inclined toward Mr. Caputo, although we are concerned about not compromising our position with regard to suits against Wilton Meadows.
http://www.scribd.com/doc/82978905/Accounting-from-Conservator

As you also know, it is my wish to fulfill my mother's wish, and my sacred promise to her, to have her taken care of in her own home for the rest of her life. I feel more strongly than ever given recent events that her life will be considerably longer, healthier and happier at home, where she will receive so much more individual attention and stimulation from our friends, our congregation (the Unitarian Church in Westport) and the Interfaith Community; and be better supported with the proper care of her private medical experts and specialized therapists ~ and my own full-time devotion. The neglect of her delicate skin is deplorable ~ two more advanced carcinomas were finally removed last Wednesday, after 11 months of my Complaints to the DPH. I loved to massage and moisturize her skin every day at home ~ she deserves that TLC at this time in her life, rather than a dislocated shoulder, injured wrist, broken tooth and skin sores; isolation and boredom; constant irritations from other residents, medical equipment and staff ~ she deserves her beloved Mozart rather than muzak. (She requested Beethoven the other day, and for the third week in a row that I take her to the bathroom, "so I can go by myself, sitting up.")  
 
Last week, after ignoring my Complaints about her open sores for 11 months ~ not to mention the sores themselves ~ Wilton Meadows finally ~ no doubt under pressure from the Dept. of Public Health, scheduled a trip to their dermatologist, at the ungodly hour of 9 A.M.  My mother does not normally wake up before 11 ~ partly due to her strokes, and partly due to the narcolepsy-inducing seizure medication they insist on giving her, even though her neurologist and she and I had made the quality-of-life decision to discontinue it.  I asked them to reschedule for an afternoon time so that my mother's sleep would not be disrupted, and it would be easier for me to travel up from NYC.  They refused.  As you pointed out, I am lucky they informed me of the appointment at all (the night before).  They don't have to.  I didn't care for their dermatologist nearly as much as my mother's private doctor of many years, but it was nice to hold her hand for three hours ~ for the first time in over 18 months.

I kept my mother out of a nursing home for more than seven years before she went to Wilton Meadows for stroke rehab and was kidnapped by them. We also paid considerably into a "state-wide asset protection plan" ~ a partnership between her LTC insurance carrier [Met Life] and the state, to protect the house. This was paid into for several years, earning "credits" against potential Medicaid claims on the property. Under the Medicaid "Caregiver's Exception," I am also entitled to keep the house. And, finally, under her Durable POA I also could have (and should have) transferred everything into my own name. This never would have happened to her if I had done so, to my terrible regret now. I was never in a rush to do that, however, because I never intended to allow my mother to go into a nursing home. It was always my intention to create whatever she needed at home. Had I ever anticipated this turn of events, I would have sold the Roton Point property to pay for the house, and put it into my name, for her protection. But I was preserving her familiar status quo for her sake and simplicity for tax purposes.

We have petitioned the Probate Court that Attorney Rick Ross and I be appointed as Co-Conservators, so that I may resume my commitment to my mother's proper care, and begin to right this terrible wrong against our entire family. I understand that preventing foreclosures is an area of expertise for Mr. Ross, and I have been looking into federally sponsored loan modification programs. My mother is a shoo-in, and I would welcome the assistance of Congressman Himes' office toward this end.

If Wilton Meadows wishes to make the case that I am "crazy" ~ which surely they should have done in July 2010, following Due Process with Rules of Evidence, rather than being permitted to subject me to "double jeopardy" at this late date ~ then that would mean that they illegally evicted my mother's disabled dependent(s) from our shared home. 

Our joint bank accounts were frozen without a hearing. My mother's residence was changed without a hearing. The attached check ~ made out to me, and not to my mother ~ shows just $5,000 that I clearly deposited, in May 2010, a gift/loan from concerned friends, for the express purpose of dealing with the crisis developing at that time at Wilton Meadows.
 
The illegal seizure of our funds prevented me from retaining an attorney to defend our Constitutional Rights from this "Abomination of Justice," in the exact words of the Unitarian Church in Westport's Director of Social Justice, David Vita ~ see his articles and letters.   
Without access to these funds, we were subjected to the absolute tyranny of Wilton Meadows' manipulation of the Probate Court.  This is not the America that most Americans believe in.  If not for the nearly constant interventions of the Ombudsman Program, my mother would still be locked in total isolation with no one to truly love her, and advocate for her needs, wishes and Rights.  No one would have reported her injuries including a dislocated shoulder in January 2011. This report ~ and the resulting Citation ~ has definitely improved her care at Wilton Meadows.  There have been multiple Citations, with more coming.

This is a shameful and systemic abuse of power over Law-abiding, innocent and vulnerable Citizens, many of whom have no one at all to speak or act on their behalf.  We must develop effective PROTECTIONS, and additional recourse for families without the financial resources to fight back against this "deadly force" exercised through the esoteric, hidden and costly channels of the Probate System. This abuse must be PREVENTED, and not merely redressed AFTER the harm is inflicted.  
 
How can it be that the only real recourse is a prohibitively costly and lengthy Appeal to Superior Courts ???  What kind of Democracy is THAT?  Why don't THEY have to stand on that kind of ceremony to TAKE our Rights away?  How can it be so much more difficult to restore them ???  The relevant Statutes were revised in 2007 ~ it is up to the Governor and the Attorney General to enforce these laws. 
A year ago, Superior Court Judge Edward Karazin took a very dim view of Wilton Meadows' attorney's persistent argument that it was "too late" to correct their "mistake" ~ whether due to fraud or negligence ~ of ignoring my properly designated authority, and the relevant Statutes.  The Judge asked Attorney Angelo Marogos incredulously and repeatedly if that was just his personal opinion, or his interpretation of the Law.  Finally the Judge said, "'Too late'?  That your legal argument?  I guess you and I went to different law schools."  His Opinion looms large behind our current negotiations, but the clock is still ticking ~ and Justice delayed is Justice denied.
No amount of "restitution" can ever make up for the pain and suffering my mother and I have been subjected to, being separated in these most precious years, months and days of my mother's life. This should be a time of peace and comfort for my mother; not misery, isolation, neglect and abuse. She should have unrestricted access to her own private medical specialists and rehabilitation therapists, and unrestricted access to my caring presence and support. 
We should be supported at this time, in our own home, surrounded by our beloved friends and precious belongings, full of the memories of our shared lifetimes together.  But these shared personal belongings ~ gifts between the two of us exchanged over our entire livetimes ~ have been plundered by those "charged" with my mother's protection; but profiteering from her exploitation. 
We are being kept out of our own home by a Life-and-Death Game of Checkers ~ delaying tactics, not even Chess ~ played by privileged players, paid to play, out of my mother's pocket.  And until March 23 they enjoyed complete Immunity ?!
Thank you for your interest in my mother's welfare and Constitutional Rights, Attorney Hulin.

~ Marjorie Partch.















Saturday, April 28, 2012

Guardianship Abuse: The Most Insidious and All-Encompassing Form of Elder Abuse


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Thank you for your support of my mother's wish to live in her own home, and have her daughter [me] be the one responsible for her care and her affairs, as she legally designated me to be, more than five years before I brought her to Wilton Meadows Health Care Center in Wilton, CT, for short-term rehabilitation for the severe stroke she had in March 2010.     ~ Marjorie Partch:  map@marjoriepartch.com

PLEASE SIGN DOROTHY'S PETITION, TO THE RIGHT!

UPDATE 3/19/12:   JUDGE RECUSED
The Probate Judge has finally recused himself from this case.

UPDATE 3/23/12:   BROKEN TOOTH
Why am I ~ the unwanted visitor ~ the one pointing this out?  The AG's office is asking this, and other questions, such as: When was her last dental exam? 4/2/12 ~ No word yet on dental treatment. I'm requesting her own dentist, to no avail. The tooth had broken into more pieces when I saw it on Fri., sharp points digging into her swollen, reddened lower lip. This just in: It was treated on Fri. I was just told they claim she had a chipped tooth upon admission. An outright lie. She now also has pneumonia, diagnosed when I pointed out her cough.  4/28/12: Her cough is improving, thank God, but I can do nothing to make them cap her painful tooth.

UPDATE 3/26/12:   CONSERVATORS & COURT-APPOINTED ATTORNEYS CAN NOW BE SUED!  Until this Conn. Supreme Court Ruling, they were IMMUNE.  This is a game changer.  But not for us, because I'm being extorted to relinquish any future claims.

THE CASE THAT SET THE PRECEDENT:
His daughter's words could come out of my own mouth:
From the woman who fought for Justice for FIVE YEARS after her father's death:

CONDEMNATION FROM YALE LAW PROFESSOR JOHN H. LANGBEIN:
________________________________________________
February 25, 2012
Dear Asst. Attorney General Charles C. Hulin and
Mr. Tyrone McMillan, MSW (for the CT Dept. of Social Services)

cc: Dept. of Public Health, Elected Officials, Media & Friends

Thank you both for your presence at the Hearing at the Norwalk Probate Court on Tue., Feb. 14, concerning the petition to resign from my mother's Court-Appointed Conservator. Having succeeded in liquidating virtually all of my mother's modest "estate," and paying himself and his own attorney more than $70,000 [See Accounting] to do so, and facing my litigation in Superior Court, it is perfectly understandable that Attorney Matthew Caputo should wish to resign.

For one thing, that would mean I would have to bring a whole new suit in Superior Court all over again. ~ So I am very glad that you did not accept the "automatic" transfer of power to the State that he, the Probate Court and Wilton Meadows were attempting, once again bypassing Statutes that stipulate a different procedure ~ exactly as they did in July 2010. This transfer would also make it impossible for me to sue the nursing home on my mother's behalf, which they would obviously prefer ~ just as they preferred to work with an agreeable real estate attorney as my mother's Conservator, rather than her concerned daughter making troublesome complaints about safety issues at Wilton Meadows ever since her admission on April 7, 2010.

And we obviously hope that the Norwalk-Wilton Probate Judge, Honorable Anthony DePanfilis, will agree to recuse himself from this case, as our attorney has requested [LINK TO RELEVANT LEGAL DOCUMENTS].

Hon. DePanfilis has shown persistent resistance to following State Law http://www.cga.ct.gov/2007/rpt/2007-R-0457.htm over the past 18 months of this case, in apparently allowing hearsay "testimony" to be given against me by the self-serving Wilton Meadows Administration, behind my back ~ but never taking sworn statements either from them or from me, nor from other witnesses of mine to horrifying incidents at Wilton Meadows; nor statements from my cousin, Ms. Linda Napolillo. In 18 months there has been no Due Process ~ no evidence presented, subject to objections, rebuttal or cross-examination, nor any observance of the Rules of Evidence that a Probate Court is required by Law to follow.

If not this (convenient) prejudice, then what is his reason ~ other than the obvious financial opportunity for all the Wilton Meadows and Probate players ~ for not following my mother's clearly and legally established intentions? He can hardly claim ignorance of her wishes, or that he conducted any reasonable evaluation of them ~ please see his own "Transcript" ["LEARN MORE"]: as inaccurate as it is ~ it does not show my repeated Objections to the proceeding, or the Court's repeated admonition that it was "too late" ~ it also does not show any Due Process concerning the proper flow of events; in fact, it proves just the opposite.  [Our attorney has requested a copy of the actual tape of the July 27, 2010 "Hearing."]

This just in March 19, 2012:  The Norwalk-Wilton Probate Judge has agreed to recuse himself.

My Complaints about my mother's mistreatment at Wilton Meadows date back to her Admission, which was terrifying. Aides tore a protective splint off her "stroke shoulder" without any regard for the delicate and painful shoulder, or her vulnerable "stroke arm," which hospital staff had treated like a fragile egg. It was merely an obstacle to their "inspection" of her, like a piece of merchandise being delivered.

Within 48 hours, she was then brutalized by their Medical Director, Dr. Radin, who made her scream in pain when he examined her ears. When I protested, he bellowed at me, in front of her, that he was going to examine her, his way, or throw us both out on the street. I had him removed as her "attending" soon after, and he has had it in for me ever since. At the time, many nurses were sympathetic, and Wilton Meadows' Administrative Director, Mr. Andrew Krotchko, told me he had received other similar Complaints, and another doctor was assigned.

This new doctor, Dr. Perlin, was happy to write prescriptions for herbal treatments for my mother, and did so. He wrote the orders, and the nurses administered the herbs to my mother ~ despite Wilton Meadows' untrue allegation that I did this myself, the record should show that Dr. Perlin wrote the orders. I never gave her any herbs directly while she was at Wilton Meadows. I wouldn't, and I didn't. (At home we consulted a professional herbalist, and this was a continuing treatment, which Dr. Perlin approved.)

Within a week or so of her arrival, my mother's feeding tube was painfully dislodged from her stomach, again due to the staff's rough handling. I had had it placed, and replaced, at Norwalk Hospital, for her, acting as her Health Care Representative, because I felt it would be temporary ~ and it was, thanks to the special attention that Wilton Meadows' speech therapist and I gave to my mother.

He trained me how to reintroduce food by mouth very cautiously and gently, but then the staff wanted to take over ~ with none of his safety measures. They refused to follow his instructions. They insisted that they had been feeding residents for years ~ but very few of them had stopped eating by mouth for months. The speech therapist intervened on his time off, and finally held a training session for the staff ~ as he had already done with me. Their dangerous feeding methods led to a conflict witnessed by Mr. David Vita, Director of Social Justice at the Unitarian Church in Westport. But he has never been allowed to testify.

Earlier, many of their CNA's had no idea what the medical term "NPO" means ~ (no food or liquid by mouth) ~ which made it dangerous for me to leave her unattended, even long enough to alert the "supervisors" ~ who were never to be seen on the floor.

* * *

Mr. Jeffrey Greenberg, a building contractor in Stamford and a concerned member of the Congregation for Humanistic Judaism, has also visited my mother on countless occasions, and never been heard, despite several attempts to testify in this case. Despite both these friends' willingness to be appointed as Co-Conservators along with me, neither Mr. Greenberg nor Mr. Vita has ever been allowed into the Judge's Chambers. He once asked jokingly if they and my cousin (up from New York) were there to bid $50,000 apiece for some of my mother's property he was selling off.

I have support from both these congregations, and the Interfaith Council of Westport-Weston, as well as the Unitarian-Universalist Society in Stamford. Ms. Marcia Kosstrin, also a member of the Congregation for Humanistic Judaism, is a licensed Occupational Therapist, whose repeated Complaints to the CT Dept. of Public Health concerning my mother's neglect have also been ignored by the DPH (sample letter attached).

Hopefully, our request to appoint Attorney Rick Ross, a colleague of my attorney, Mr. Richard Raphael's, as Co-Conservator along with me, will allay any false allegations that Wilton Meadows has taken to making against me ~ of which I have only learned subsequent to my legal actions ~ especially if the question is heard by a new Probate Judge. Mr. Ross is a highly experienced elder care attorney and litigator with an excellent reputation in CT and New York City.

Wilton Meadows' move to have a real estate attorney appointed as my mother's Conservator in my place ~ with no Due Process to remove me as her legal Durable Power of Attorney, Pre-Designated Conservator, Attorney-in-Fact and Health Care Representative ~ was a pre-emptive strike, designed to block any (correctly) "perceived threat" of legal action FROM ME, once all our joint accounts were frozen. Initially, they merely claimed that I did not exist, rather than presenting evidence that I was unfit, as they are now claiming.

Unfortunately, I did not approach the State Long-Term Care Ombudsman Program or the DPH before the Conservatorship was accomplished, in July 2010. I did finally involve the Ombudsman in Jan. 2011, after I was barred from even visiting my mother for six weeks over the holidays, because the nursing home staff observed me recording my mother's perfectly coherent statements (in Nov. 2010) about coming home for Christmas. It's heartbreaking that she has spent the past two Christmas holidays in isolation in that institutional environment.

When I was finally permitted to see my mother again, thanks to the Ombudsman's Intervention in Jan. 2011, she was covered with the worst bruises I've ever seen on anyone in my life. The Ombudsman's Investigation revealed that her shoulder had been dislocated, in what she described very clearly as an assault; and he recommended a Complaint to the DPH. I wanted to call the FBI!

It took four months for the DPH to conduct their Investigation, but when they did, they issued a Citation, with fine (May 11) to the facility for the mistreatment [SEE DOC].

While I am glad that there is all this interest in my mother's welfare, I am wondering ~ how long is it going to take for her deplorable skin condition to be properly addressed?

~ How am I the questionable one, if I never had a single Complaint against me in seven years in caring for her at home? She was hardly hidden from view (as she is now), I brought her to several doctors' and therapy appointments every week.

I have been pointing out her terrible skin sores since June 2011. This shows that my standards are obviously higher than Wilton Meadows' ~ or anyone else's. One sore in particular was finally ~ and only then under pressure from the DPH ~ biospied, and shown to be a carcinoma. [SEE DOC] So I am hardly exaggerating. But my mother had to wait more than three months for that Investigation ~ and treatment ~ from June to October. What now?

Please note: 
The above picture of pustules is an example, 
and not my mother’s actual skin per se. 
She has large scaly, scabby patches, 
which are becoming surrounded by 
these puss-filled sacks on her legs.


If I am the only person pointing out the open sores, bloody scabs, scaly patches and bumps on her skin ~ whose fault is that? Why is no one else investigating? Why isn't Wilton Meadows "self-regulating" this care? Why doesn't her Conservator do anything? Or how about the Judge? Does she have to wait another three or four months for the DPH? And if the DPH rules that it is an "acceptable" level of discomfort for my mother to endure, does she just have to simply live with the terrible itching and pain that could easily be prevented by proper moisturizing? That's all I did at home for seven years, and that's what I would do now. At this point, puss-filled pustules are forming ~ I would never allow this to go on at home. From what I understand, that's indicative of staph infection. Would she be allowed to remain in MY CARE with this number of DPH Complaints ~ and Citations? [SEE DOCS]

Wilton Meadows' response is to forbid me to "inspect" my mother! And they constantly threaten to curtail my visits. They insist on "supervising" both my cousin and me ~ as if WE would harm my mother. They are finally moisturizing her face now ~ because that shows ~ but not her legs.

Last Friday they refused to even take an unopened bottle of skin lotion from me, because they "don't know what's in it."

~ As if I might add arsenic to moisturizer for my mother ??????

Wilton Meadows has turned this around, and created a fiction that they are somehow protecting my mother from ME ~ and also from her college friends and my cousin ~ when they are only protecting their own mercenary interests. I never did any of the "reckless" things they have [recently] accused me of doing, with the single exception of applying yogurt to her ~ as one of the CNA's present at the time concurred: "to rebalance the healthy bacteria" ~ so that was hardly a reckless thing. Over-medicating her with a sedating seizure medication, that's reckless.

My "reckless" solution for that in the Spring of 2010? Desperate attempts to have Wilton Meadows confer with her private neurologist ~ as is her Patient's Right, as well as the Right to Refuse (harmful) medication ~ which he had discontinued prior to her hospitalization for the stroke in March 2010. Their Medical Director told me that he doesn't "believe in" neurologists, or psychiatrists. The response? Her neurologist is forbidden to speak to me now. After I found him for her in the first place, and worked closely with him for years. They deny that I asked them to speak with him in 2010, so that's that. The DPH refuses call him to confirm that he told me his hands were tied to intervene unless Wilton Meadows called him. The DPH Cited Wilton Meadows for not "educating" ME about my mother's "need" for the medication ~ Keppra ~ (well known for its side-effect of narcolepsy, which suits Wilton Meadows' purposes all too well ~ it's medical duct tape). When I'm the one who found this medication for her, as an alternative to Depakote, with her neurologist ~ who I also hired for her in 2004!

As for my own motives, I had seven years in which to transfer my mother's entire "estate" into my own name ~ given the sweeping authority she invested in me with her Durable Power of Attorney [SEE DOC].

However, I never did that, out of sensitivity to her dignity. But had I transferred the house and other property, this never would have happened, and for that reason I regret it. That is what I should have done to PROTECT HER.

In June 2010, Wilton Meadows was trying to push my mother out the door because her Medicare benefits were due to expire. I did not want the responsibility of maintaining the feeding tube at home, and wished for her transition off it ~ which she did in August ~ and I had to get the house ready for her return. I asked them to keep her for a few more weeks, because I also needed a respite break, having been with her 12 hours a day since March 13, because she was so delicate. By the end of June, she was stronger, and a good team of caregivers had gathered around her.

Wilton Meadows was not "concerned" about sending her home until they discovered that she had assets in her name, and anticipated my legal actions. (I wanted to get her home first.)

I am now asking, Why is it so hard to give her legs the moisturizing they need? She tends to get eczema if her skin is neglected ~ but this is the worst I've ever seen it. It looks like it's becoming dangerously infected at this point. Isn't neglect to the point of a staph infection developing ~ "reckless"?

Again, most of the relevant legal documents have been posted here, for easy access for all concerned:


Thank you again, and for whatever you can do,

and God Help the other residents at Wilton Meadows without family to advocate on their behalf,


Marjorie Partch /for/
Dorothy S. Partch
212.420.9187 / 203.912.3528 
__________________________________________

Ms. Marjorie Partch
c/o The Unitarian Church in Westport
10 Lyons Plains Road
Westport, CT 06880

Attn: Mr. David Vita,
Director of Social Justice
203.227.7205, ext. 14




http://www.facebook.com/dorothypartch

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Background

~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ .

I was lucky as a child that my mother ~ I called her Dorothy ~ was my favorite playmate.  She looked a little like Judy Garland, and I thought The Wizard of Oz was about her.  But then she made me a recording of herself singing Here We Go Round the Mulberry Bush in one of those booths in Times Square, and I realized she couldn't sing on key.

When I wanted to be Wednesday Addams for Halloween at the age of eight, it was based on the New Yorker cartoons around the housae as much as the TV show, and my mother was delighted to make my costume from scratch.  We won first prize at the local Unitarian Church in Brooklyn Heights.  My parents were married in the Unitarian Church in 1954.  Some of their best friends gave us original editions of Edward Gorey's works just as I was learning to read.  I don't think this influenced my sensibility as much as reflected our shared family karma.  Our dark humor has always been one of our deepest bonds.

I'll fast-forward a bit here.  Suffice it to say that throughout the years, even when I left their home in Conn. to return to New York City at the age of 20, my parents and I remained one another's confidentes, best editors and best friends.  My father was an editor-in-chief, and my mother was a science editor, and then an English teacher.  She cultivated electives in Science Fiction and The American Transcendalists ~ Unitiaran authors and poets such as Whitman, Dickinson, Melville, Emerson, Thoreau, et al.  She taught at an integrated public high school, in keeping with her commitment to Civil Rights.  How ironic that her own are being violated now.

In April of 2003, as we were preparing for my father's memorial service at the Unitarian Church in Westport, Conn., my mother had what they called a "mini-stroke."  After spending a few months with her getting her back on her feet,  mostly with Occupational Therapy, I returned to my then-home in Vermont for half the week, and spent half the week with her in the family homestead in Norwalk, Conn.  A year later, she had a serious seizure, and her recovery from that ~ partly given the medications she had to take ~ was so difficult that I quickly gave up my home in Vermont, and moved in with her full-time, and my sister Jessica, who due to learning disabilities had never left home.

I was happy to care for her, after the six-month vigil my mother and I had shared during my father's illness.  I learned that that time together is precious beyond measure.  In 2004, I endeavored to create a nursing home at home for my mother, and a new life for myself, as I encouraged Jessica to assume greater responsibilities for helping to manage the household.  She grew into an excellent shopper and cook for us, and was able to maintain her part-time job with animals and her lifelong passion as an artist.

My mother opened up in ways that I never could have imagined before.  While she had the outer persona of "Mrs. Dalloway-Meets-Gracie" ~ she loved a good party ~ her inner "Emily Dickinson" soul was seldom accessible before this time together.  Not to me anyway.  And here she was, suddenly waking up in the mornings reciting poetry, sharing private memories and reflections, and introducing me to whole new inner vistas. While of course she raised me on Old Possum, I had never encountered Eliot's Quartets until 2007.  I thought she was raving deliriously about bin Laden one morning, but she was reciting Abu Ben Adam, by Leigh Hunt. 

Our seven years together as a family of women were some of the most fulfilling, and challenging, of my life.  It was incredibly rich for me ~ a Reiki healer ~ to spend this time doing various therapies with my mother, and learning so much more about her life and thoughts than I ever could have otherwise.  It was stressful at times too, especially after the market crashed and I was concerned about our diminishing resources.

But it was cut too short by her severe stroke in March of 2010.  And losing possession our home of 40 years, which I fell in love when I renovated it after a furnace fire, has been nothing short of traumatic.  It is currently on the market, and I am urgently trying to block its sale.

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Overview

Welcome.  My name is Marjorie Partch.  My mother and best friend is Dorothy Partch.

I have cared for my mother at home ever since a minor stroke in 2003.  I brought her to a nursing home for rehab following a more serious stroke last Spring. 

In what is becoming a growing national trend,* the nursing home then bypassed me as my mother's Power of Attorney, Health Care Representative, Attorney-in-Fact, designated Conservator, etc.  This means that I now have no say in her care, her finances, or even where she lives.

Rather than giving her rehab, the nursing home has allowed her to languish, and isolated her from visitors.  They refused to consult her neurologist.  She has been over-medicated.  She has sustained severe bruising, and a dislocated shoulder sent her to the hospital in January.  There was another trip to the ER that I can't even get details on right now, even though I have investigations going on w/ the Dept. of Public Health, etc.

I have learned that the only REAL way for me to fight back ~ to assert my mother's rights and wishes ~ is to hire an expensive attorney.  This presents a nearly insurmountable problem now that they have seized all our (joint) assets.

As I write, a suit in the State Superior Court in Stamford has just been filed ~ thanks to the generosity of friends like you. 

The lawyers working with the nursing home claim that all my mother's assets other than the house have already been spent ~ more than $200,000 ~ a curious contention since they also claim that the nursing home has not even been paid yet.  I am not even entitled to an accounting without going to Superior Court.

We are currently seeking an injunction against selling the family home out from under us.  Under Medicaid laws, I am entitled to keep the house because I cared for her for so many years.

~ Once my mother's assets are depleted (by the nursing home and their lawyers), they can send her to any state-run facility for the indigent, which could be a lot worse than where she is now. 

I've attached two articles that the Unitarian Church's Director of Social Justice, David Vita, has written on our behalf for the church newsletter.  He has fully vetted the case, read all the documents, and attended numerous meetings w/ attorneys.  He can be reached at 203.227.7205, ext. 14.

Perhaps there is some way you can help?  I need to raise another $6,500 in a hurry.  I've already spent more than that on attorneys' fees.  But it's worth it, to save the rest of Dorothy's life from that institutional misery, and to save our family homestead.  And to fight for Justice.

Tax deductible donations can be mailed to:

Rev. Frank Hall
The Unitarian Church in Westport
10 Lyons Plains Road
Westport, CT  06880

("Marjorie Partch" in memo line.)

Thank you!,

~ Marjorie Partch
mapartch@yahoo.com

* For some added perspective:
http://probateshark.blogspot.com

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I was lucky as a child that my mother ~ I called her Dorothy ~ was my favorite playmate.  She looked a little like Judy Garland, and I thought The Wizard of Oz was about her.  But then she made me a recording of herself singing Here We Go Round the Mulberry Bush in one of those booths in Times Square, and I realized she couldn't sing on key. 

When I wanted to be Wednesday Addams for Halloween at the age of eight, it was based on the New Yorker cartoons around the housae as much as the TV show, and my mother was delighted to make my costume from scratch.  We won first prize at the local Unitarian Church in Brooklyn Heights.  My parents were married in the Unitarian Church in 1954.  Some of their best friends gave us original editions of Edward Gorey's works just as I was learning to read.  I don't think this influenced my sensibility as much as reflected our shared family karma.  Our dark humor has always been one of our deepest bonds.

I'll fast-forward a bit here.  Suffice it to say that throughout the years, even when I left their home in Conn. to return to New York City at the age of 20, my parents and I remained one another's confidentes, best editors and best friends.  My father was an editor-in-chief, and my mother was a science editor, and then an English teacher.  She cultivated electives in Science Fiction and The American Transcendalists ~ Unitiaran authors and poets such as Whitman, Dickinson, Melville, Emerson, Thoreau, et al.  She taught at an integrated public high school, in keeping with her commitment to Civil Rights.  How ironic that her own are being violated now.

In April of 2003, as we were preparing for my father's memorial service at the Unitarian Church in Westport, Conn., my mother had what they called a "mini-stroke."  After spending a few months with her getting her back on her feet,  mostly with Occupational Therapy, I returned to my then-home in Vermont for half the week, and spent half the week with her in the family homestead in Norwalk, Conn.  A year later, she had a serious seizure, and her recovery from that ~ partly given the medications she had to take ~ was so difficult that I quickly gave up my home in Vermont, and moved in with her full-time, and my sister Jessica, who due to learning disabilities had never left home.

I was happy to care for her, after the six-month vigil my mother and I had shared during my father's illness.  I learned that that time together is precious beyond measure.  In 2004, I endeavored to create a nursing home at home for my mother, and a new life for myself, as I encouraged Jessica to assume greater responsibilities for helping to manage the household.  She grew into an excellent shopper and cook for us, and was able to maintain her part-time job with animals and her lifelong passion as an artist.

My mother opened up in ways that I never could have imagined before.  While she had the outer persona of "Mrs. Dalloway-Meets-Gracie" ~ she loved a good party ~ her inner "Emily Dickinson" soul was seldom accessible before this time together.  Not to me anyway.  And here she was, suddenly waking up in the mornings reciting poetry, sharing private memories and reflections, and introducing me to whole new inner vistas. While of course she raised me on Old Possum, I had never encountered Eliot's Quartets until 2007.  I thought she was raving deliriously about bin Laden one morning, but she was reciting Abu Ben Adam, by Leigh Hunt. 

Our seven years together as a family of women were some of the most fulfilling, and challenging, of my life.  It was incredibly rich for me ~ a Reiki healer ~ to spend this time doing various therapies with my mother, and learning so much more about her life and thoughts than I ever could have otherwise.  It was stressful at times too, especially after the market crashed and I was concerned about our diminishing resources.

But it was cut too short by her severe stroke in March of 2010.  And losing possession our home of 40 years, which I fell in love when I renovated it after a furnace fire, has been nothing short of traumatic.  It is currently on the market, and I am urgently trying to block its sale.

To be continued ………